[…] of the future, fear of failure and anything different and difficult really are not that appealing in comparison to the easy […]
Do you have low self-esteem and low confidence? Are you reluctant and afraid to take on new challenges? Do you suffer from anxiety about the future? These are all physical and emotional signs of a fear of failure.
But isn’t life about taking risks, experiencing failure, and learning continuously? If not, then a cautious life must be comfortable, if not boring. It’s time to break out and live boldly.
How to know if you have a fear of failure
The fear of failure is something we all experience, whether in small doses or consistently. This fear causes many people to stop working towards their goals and dreams, leaving them stagnant and stuck in their lives. It can also cause feelings of anxiety and depression because it is difficult to overcome, understand, and move on.
Common signs you might have a fear of failure:
- Procrastinating to avoid doing certain things
- Worrying about what others think of you
- Telling yourself you are not good enough to succeed
- Employing a sense of perfectionism in most tasks
- Feeling shame when you do fail, doubting yourself, and who you are
- Having trouble taking charge of your decisions
- Saying no to opportunities often
- Feeling stuck in your comfort zone
These are only a handful of signs that you may have a fear of failure and you’re letting it rule your life. This is exactly why you need to stop letting a fear of failure make your decisions for you and start living a life you love.
7 helpful tips to overcome your fear of failure
Overcoming fear of anything is going to be a long journey. You need to put in constant work and reminders to start tackling it head-on. But it will be worth it to start celebrating your successes, learning from failures, and making amazing changes in your life.
Here are some helpful tips to start you on your journey to overcoming a fear of failure.
1) Find the Origins
“The greatest discovery in life is self-discovery.”
— Myles Munroe
Yes, it is meant to be plural! There are so many situations and events in life that can cause us to generate a fear of failure. We store a lot of information in our subconscious and that is where your exploration of the mind should start. Finding where your fear of failure originates is a huge step.
Were there times in your childhood when your parents undermined your efforts? Was there a time you were humiliated for something? Were your parents supportive of you and your choices? We absorb so much information when we are young and a lot of it is internalized.
Therefore, bring it to the surface, analyze your fear of failure and where it came from. Get really deep. This will give you a better idea of the situations you are most afraid of and that cause anxiety. It will then make anything more manageable and realistic, completely changing the perspective of why your fear manifests.
2) Change Your Perspective
This is not just changing the perspective of where your fear originates; it is your mindset that you need to change. Your mindset can determine how you act, think, and feel toward everything you do. Therefore, if you have a failure outlook or a lack mindset, you will never be able to overcome a fear of failure.
By changing your perspective and mentality toward failing, you change your life. Every opportunity you have is an opportunity for learning and even if you fail, you just aren’t there yet. If you employ a growth mindset or a positive mindset, then failing doesn’t seem so scary.
There isn’t anything to be afraid of because you know you are on a journey, you are learning, and that nothing is going to be perfect every time. Therefore, the new perspective you need is that failing isn’t a complete failure that is the end. It is a learning curve. A new opportunity to try again.
Read next:
Choose Your Thoughts: How to Stop Spiraling and Rewire Your Mind
3 Toxic Mindsets That Sabotage Your Success (and How to Overcome Them)
3) Think More Positively
This is not as basic as it sounds. Positive thinking involves changing your mindset, as I mentioned earlier, your thought process and how you view the future. Often, a fear of failure is so strong because we focus on the negative outcomes and the obstacles that stand in the way of success. But this is not the only outcome!
Think of the positive possible outcomes, how you can move through any obstacle and visualize a path towards the goal. Let go of the negative presumptions you’re making. They are usually the extreme versions of the future, overdramatic and highly unlikely, which makes the fear of failing more prominent.
Positive thinking and a new perspective help you achieve better outcomes and give you strength for any challenge you face.
4) Set Goals
Setting your ultimate goal can be inspiring and motivating. However, it can be so daunting, scary, and unachievable that your fear of failure is extreme. So, alternatively, start by setting small goals:
- Getting up before 5 am
- Lose 5 pounds
- Say yes to that date
- Invest time in yourself by meditating every morning
- Going for that interview
Whatever your first small goals are, start them. When you are succeeding, even in the small things, it will begin to build your confidence back up. Grow your self-belief and self-worth with small successes and progress toward your bigger goals.
Although, with small successes, there may still be small failures. This will get you in the practice of positive thinking, changing your perspective, testing your strength and determination and picking yourself back up continuously. You will begin to feel like you can tackle any challenge, no matter the outcome.
Another tip to include in your small goals is learning something new. By encouraging yourself to learn, you are embracing the process. Your fear of failure cannot manifest if you know you are not there yet, you are learning, and slowly progressing.
Read next:
20+ Deep Journal Prompts for Goal-Setting
5) Test the Comfort Zone
“I had to make you uncomfortable, or else you never would have moved”
– The Universe
The comfort zone, usually, is what holds you back and causes your fear of failure. Being uncomfortable or pushed outside of what you “think” you are capable of is scary, makes you anxious, and the chance of failing is high.
Stepping outside of that bubble is when the magic happens. You can discover so much more about yourself and what you are capable of when you are pushed past your limits and tested. Of course, the small goals that you are setting and achieving are a start to stepping outside the comfort zone.
So, mix up your routine, do something a little crazy, and make yourself uncomfortable. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable because it’s a good way to face the fear of failure head-on.
6) Use Affirmations
We tell ourselves stories about ourselves. They aren’t facts, but they become our truths. For example:
- I am not good enough.
- I’m not smart enough to reach my goals.
- I will always fail at everything I do.
- I’m too fearful to take risks…
The list goes on. These are negative affirmations that we have learned through our childhood, from the people around us and the events that have happened to us, especially our failures. We believe them so wholly that our self-belief is nonexistent, our confidence is at zero, and our fear of failure is sky-high.
The main takeaway is that they are NOT true. Turn them around completely and start believing in the positive things about yourself!
Affirm to yourself that you are strong and brave, you are good enough, you are smart enough, and you can succeed!
Tell your tiny, negative voice that it is wrong about you and anyone else who made you small or wrong or a failure. These stories are no longer true, so you should start living your new truth. The fear of failure can be drowned out by the powerful, positive voice you have and the self-belief that you are building.
Read next:
How to Make Any Affirmation Work + 111 Powerful Affirmations
How to Live Your Best Life: 10 Steps to Ultimate Transformation
7) Embrace Your Fear of Failure
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
— Maya Angelou
Don’t push the fear down inside yourself and ignore the feeling. It will fester and grow to cause all kinds of other problems. Overcoming a fear of failure does not mean ignoring the feeling altogether. You still need to tackle it.
Let it wash over you, feel it entirely, and understand where it is coming from so you can make the decision to move past the anxiety and fear. With these other tips, you can work through it effectively and not let your fear become bigger than you.
I hope these tips and techniques will help you overcome your fear of failure and inspire you to move forward. The only way is forward toward your goals, jumping out of your comfort zone, challenging yourself, and taking risks. Yes, life is scary, but living a life you have always wanted is worth the risk.
Your fear of failure is learned from your past. Remember that it is not your truth. You have the power within you to do anything and succeed in ways that prove your fear wrong.
Read next:
How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection
6 Tips to Prepare for and Overcome Obstacles
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Guest contributor:
Brittany is the mind behind and the creator of The Boldly Blog.
Her goal is to inspire young women to start their personal development journey for their own self-development and self-discovery.
Most importantly, she wants everyone to feel free to invest in themselves, their goals, and be their true selves. Unapologetically.
I feel like a lot of us are conditioned to think about the negative outcome. When I started my journey as an entrepreneur, for example, most people around me seemed to assume that it wouldn’t work out. It took me a long time to be able to not get stressed out by this kind of feedback. I really love the quote: “Every opportunity you have is an opportunity for learning and even if you fail, you just aren’t there yet.” It’s so true and something I definitely try to live by! Whenever I start being afraid of failure, I tell myself that even if I do fail, I’ll just figure out a new way to make things work.
I think we all have those kinds of people around us that doubt everything and put doubts in our heads. But we will never get anywhere if we don’t try. Keep going and keep trying and everyday is an opportunity for learning.
I think it can be very difficult to find the origin of our fear sometimes because it can be such a dark place. For instance, one of my fears is drowning. When I was very young, I believe around 5, my brother and I were at the pool. Neither of my parents knew how to swim and one kid through a big ball at my older brother and he fell in the pool. I saw him touch the bottom and I felt helpless. Luckily, someone jumped in and got him out. We never went near a pool again. Now it’s something I still have to fight to this day. I have to force myself to go to the pool and learn to get better.
I’m sorry for your traumatic experience. There are so many instances that stay with us for life and have to continuously work through to overcome them. The fact that you are trying shows your real strength, so don’t give up!
I see your goal is to inspire young women. I am an older woman was glad to read your inspiring post. Thank you! – informative and it had achievable “take note” of these items to pursue!
Hi Deborah, thank you for letting me know you enjoyed my post, I’m so glad I could inspire you too
This is a great post, I especially like the first one about knowing the origins. We don’t realize how powerful they are at how we think and act in the present. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Herah, I’m glad you pointed this out as it was one of the biggest things for me. It took me a while to understand what I was scared of and when I realised it was from past experiences, it seemed all the more manageable and gave me a much better perspective.