To move on means to start a new chapter.
Keep in mind that you don’t have to wait for Monday, your next birthday, the New Year, or some other opportunity that you see in your calendar to start again. Quite the opposite, you can start again every second.
And that’s what I’m here for. To encourage you to start now. Don’t just turn a new page, I mean… Buy a new notebook!
I’m going to share with you a few ways you can actually start moving on. How you can start the PROCESS of moving on because it starts with your mind and convincing yourself that you’re worthy of living a better life and moving on from what doesn’t serve you anymore.
I’m going to be honest with you, it can be uncomfortable at first because we’re not used to it. That’s a fact. We’re not used to letting go of our past in order to change our future.
#1 decision to move on
Therefore, first of all, what I want you to do is to make a DECISION to move on.
“If you want to live a life you’ve never lived, you have to do things you’ve never done.”
– Jen Sincero
I want you to make yourself a priority, because, be honest with yourself now – when was the last time you made yourself a priority?
When was the last time you chose to do something just for yourself and your own well-being without spending at least 10 minutes thinking about how it can affect someone else or what someone else might think?
When was the last time you bought a birthday present for YOURSELF?
I want you to know that you’re worthy of celebrating yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY.
You’re worthy of letting go of the feelings that don’t give you anything positive.
You are worthy of moving on.
You are worthy of choosing the BEST feelings for yourself. And you won’t find those feelings in your past. No. Those feelings are yet to come and you can create them right now. You create them in your thoughts by focusing on what makes you feel good.
Open yourself to those feelings, to experience them.
You have to stop digging through your past to find moments of happiness and joy. Or, on the other hand, digging through your past to think about moments of sadness and frustration. You don’t need to relive that again.
When you go through the feelings of joy in your mind, you feel sad. You feel sad because that person and those feelings are not in your life right now.
You have to decide to move on. It can be painful at first to let go of what has been.
But, if it was bad, leave it in the past. And, if it was good, it would still last. Obviously, it wasn’t the best option for you. What’s best for you is what you’re doing right now. It has the full potential to become the best thing that has happened to you.
Read next:
How to Choose Your Thoughts and Master Your Mind
How to Take Back Your Power and Become the Best Version of Yourself
#2 clarity
After you made a decision to move on, I want you to write a few letters. No, you’re not going to send them. And, no, you’re not going to write them in your notes on your phone or in some Google document.
The action step to take from this post is writing letters to those who made you feel like you’re not worthy.
You’re going to write them a handwritten letter about your process of moving on and why it’s time for you to do that.
You’re going to write it with your hand because there’s a power in that. Your thoughts flow more naturally because they go from your mind, through your arm, your hand, your fingertips, and straight to paper. There’s a connection in that.
Whereas if you write it on some digital device, it breaks that connection. It’s the technology and modern times, let’s say.
If it’s your ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, a person who bullied you in high school, your boss, your parents who made you feel like you’re not worthy of love.
Whoever it is. Write them a letter. And, it can be more than one person of course. Actually, I’m sure that we all have MORE than one person. And, you don’t have to write 10 letters today. It’s a process. So, give yourself time to go through that part of your past. Take your time. Take it easy on yourself.
What to write in your letter for someone who made you feel unworthy/journal prompts to guide you to move on
1. What does moving on mean to you?
2. What do you need to realize in order to move on?
3. How can you make a process of moving on easier for yourself?
Remember that it’s a process and there’s no need to rush it. Take your time and approach yourself with love, patience, and compassion.
4. What do you want to say to that person who made you feel bad in your past? What would you tell them right now?
How have they affected your life and your relationship with yourself and with other people? What do they need to know?
5. How did they make you feel? How do you feel right now thinking about them?
Write about your decision to move on. Explain to them why you need to let go.
6. Tell them what you imagine your life is going to look like when you move on. Tell them about the steps you’re going to take in order to move on. Explain to them how it’s going to benefit you.
7. If you find a way to forgive them, feel free to do that. If you find a way to let go of any negative emotion, whether that is resentment, sadness, anger, or something else, write about that.
8. Write about thoughts, emotions, and actions you’re ready to let go of.
9. Take a moment to pause and see what comes up. Give yourself time.
10. Write about the reason why you want to move on. Why do you think now is the right time to close that chapter and enjoy the next chapter of your life?
When you’re done, rip the paper into pieces with the intention to move on. Let go of the past and start the new chapter in your life.
Now, you’re maybe thinking ‘’okay, Ivana, but how is this going to benefit me? I write a letter to someone who made me feel bad and I rip that letter into pieces or burn it. But how is that going to help me move on?’’
It’s going to give you clarity on what do you need to do in order to move on. You’re going to understand your thoughts and emotions a lot more so that you know what exactly needs to change.
#3 closure
So, the first step was to make a decision to move on, then to write some letters, and the 3rd thing I want you to do is to think about that closure that you just went through.
This part is all about that saying ‘’leave your past in the past, where it belongs’’
Here are some things you might want to consider for this part. Number one, I want you to know that you don’t have to go through this process all by yourself.
There are people out there with enough education and experience to help you move on. I’m talking about counselors, therapy, and coaching.
There are plenty of online counselors who are willing to help you with what you’re struggling with. If you need someone to talk to, someone who is not going to judge you, or look at you as some kind of a loser, or make you think that you don’t have ‘’real’’ problems, counseling, therapy or coaching CAN be a good option.
Yes, you can talk to your friend or someone you know IF you have someone who is willing to hear you out, but if you want to get in-depth and talk to a professional who could provide you not just advice but also solutions for your individual problem, maybe that’s something to look into.
Other than that, you can journal daily about your process of moving on. This can help you work on that from within and understand yourself. What I mean by journaling is being there for yourself and giving yourself time to heal.
So you might want to dedicate 20 minutes each day to write in your journal about how are you feeling, how do you want to feel, maybe if you feel some resistance toward the healing process. Whatever comes to mind. It’s important to check in with yourself.
You could also make some changes when it comes to your physical appearance. That’s an easy and simple way to start. You could try some things even this week.
Maybe you could get a haircut, declutter your wardrobe and start wearing only things you feel confident in, start doing yoga to enhance the connection between your mind, body, and spirit. There’s a YouTube channel called Yoga with Adrienne where you can start with her 30-day yoga challenges.
Options are endless. And, the thing is, we are all different.
The reason why I suggest journaling and asking YOURSELF valuable questions is that there is no one-size-fits-all kind of answer.
Let’s say you just went through a difficult breakup. I could easily suggest deleting your ex’s phone number from your phone. But maybe that would be a hard thing to do for you right now.
And that’s okay.
I recommend journaling so that YOU figure out for YOURSELF what is the best way for you to move on. If it’s crying for the first 10 days and ordering pizza because you can barely make yourself get up and remove your makeup. Then that’s fine.
It’s your way of dealing with the problem right now and you shouldn’t feel guilty about your feelings. I want you to know that it’s okay.
I want you to know that you’re doing the best you can right now. And other people can give you advice but they haven’t been through what you’re going through. It may not be easy, but you’re here.
You’ve already done so much by actually trying to find the answer and I want you to be proud of yourself. I want you to know that you’re amazing! You’re doing amazing things to improve your life and you’re doing a fantastic job!
Trust me, it’s only going to get better from here.
Moving on is the hardest part. It’s something we haven’t done yet so it’s scary.
But as Jen Sincero says “If you want to live a life you’ve never lived, you have to do things you’ve never done.”
I LOVE that quote. I want you to remember it and write it somewhere where you can see it every day. Let it guide you through the creation of your dream life. The creation of a new version of yourself.
And what that quote means is that if you want to live an amazing life and create the best future for yourself, you have to move on. You have to leave your past in the past, where it belongs, and enjoy the present moment and everything it brings.
If you’re familiar with my blog, you know I’m all about affirmations. Here are some of my favorite ones specifically to help you to move on.
Affirmations for moving on:
‘’It’s time for me to move on.’’
‘’It’s safe for me to leave past in the past.’’
”I allow myself to move on.”
‘’It’s good for me to move on from what doesn’t serve me anymore.’’
‘’I can start again and recreate my story whenever I want to.’’
‘’I’m worthy of living a better life.’’
‘’I’m making a decision to move on.’’
‘’I am ready to do things that are going to benefit me.’’
‘’I am ready to make myself a priority.’’
‘’It’s okay to ask for help.’’
‘’I deserve to move on.’’
P. S. If you’ve been on your own self-improvement journey and you want to dive deeper, check out my journaling bundle.
The bundle includes guided journaling workshops for building confidence, creating the next-level version of yourself, and setting goals. It’s so powerful to help you dig deeper within yourself and start making a change in your life so that you can move on and create a life you’re excited about. Sound good? Then get your bundle on the link here and snag some pretty cool bonuses!
Until the next time,
Ivana
This was really really helpful thank you so much 🙂