How often do you compare yourself to others, think you’re not good enough, or that you’re not ready yet? When thoughts like these stop you from taking action toward your goals, it’s time to make a change. It’s time for overcoming your limiting beliefs.
But how do you actually do that? How do you overcome something you’ve been struggling with for years?
As Alissa Finerman said in her book Living In Your Top 1%, you can choose between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.
If you choose to adopt a growth mindset, you’ll see life as a learning process and believe you can always improve. However, if you choose a fixed mindset, you’ll stay stuck with whatever abilities you already have.
When you’re overcoming your limiting beliefs, you have to shift to a growth mindset. You can’t stay stuck with the same thought patterns you had. You’ll need to create new ones aligned with the new version of yourself you’re becoming.
Let’s talk about it.
1) notice where you stop
“Would you continue with the limiting belief of ‘I am not enough’ if you fully accepted that it robs you of what you want?”
― Lizzy Cangro
Oftentimes, we’re not even aware of our exact limiting beliefs. They become our automatic thoughts that pop up whenever we want to do something that challenges our comfort zone. We’re so accustomed to the default responses that we don’t take a moment to identify the thought and work through it.
Think about your goals or action plan you created to achieve something. Ask yourself, “Why haven’t I already achieved that? What’s that block or limit you’ve been hitting?”
If your goal is to travel to Paris, you might discover that the limiting belief holding you back is that you think you can’t do it alone, it’s too scary, or you’re not ready yet.
Notice the exact moment when you back out of taking action aligned with your goals. Ask yourself questions like, “Why am I not already doing this? Why haven’t I already achieved this goal?”
No blame or judgment. Approach this with curiosity to find what belief you’re holding onto that’s stopping you from going after what you want.
Read next:
3 Toxic Mindsets That Sabotage Your Success (and How to Overcome Them)
Signs Of Self-Sabotage: Are You Sabotaging Your Own Happiness?
2) separate belief from a fact
“Are you a clairvoyant? A fortune-teller? If not, why anticipate the worst for yourself? Past does not equal the future, so why not think big and positive?”
― Maddy Malhotra
Belief is a thought you have the evidence for. It’s an interpretation that makes sense to you, which is why we perceive it as fact. You think, “Of course, I’m too old to start a blog. Only 20-year-olds have blogs,” but that’s just your interpretation. On the other hand, a fact is an objective truth. It can’t be argued with or influenced by what someone believes.
When you start overcoming your limiting beliefs, you’ll need to challenge them as they come. The next time your mind offers you a thought, “I can’t start a blog. I’m too old,” challenge it with “Why is it not true that I’m too old to start a blog? Why is it not true that I can’t start a blog right now?”
Watch your mind gather evidence for why you are the best person to start a blog right now. Watch your mind overcoming your limiting beliefs that presented themselves as facts. Ask yourself, “Why is this actually not a fact?” Convince your mind to see another perspective.
Your mind can go in whatever direction you want it to. Discouraging to the point where you don’t want to get out of bed. Or so excited you can’t stop writing your first blog post at 2 am. You choose.
Read next:
Change Your Thoughts: How to Stop Spiraling and Rewire Your Mind
How to Activate Any Affirmation Without Repetition
3) create helpful beliefs
“Believe you can, and you’re halfway there.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
I’m not a fan of mindless affirmations. Sure, they’re a nice reminder when you need an extra push, but they’re not a long-term solution to overcoming your limiting beliefs.
If you’re a single mother and you want to start dating again, repeating “I’m confident” can make you feel even worse when you feel the opposite. If you say to yourself things like “Who would want me? No one wants a 40-year-old woman with a kid,” it’s time to have a team meeting with yourself and create helpful beliefs.
This is when you ask yourself, “What do I want to believe? What would be helpful to think?” followed by “Why is this already true?”
For instance, maybe you want to believe that single mothers can still date and find their person. Okay, why is that true?
It’s true because the person who is right for you won’t see you having a kid as an obstacle. Instead, he will be completely fine with it, accept that as a part of your life, and he’ll even be excited to get to know your little one.
An affirmation that says “I’m confident. I’ve got this.” can be used as a cherry on top when you’ve already created helpful beliefs to keep you focused on your desired future.
As I’ve said, your mind will eat whatever you feed it. Your mind is so powerful that you can convince it to believe anything. The only question is, what do you want it to believe?
Read next:
5 Life-Coaching Tools for Confidence: Build Self-Belief That Lasts
How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection and Stop Taking It Personally
4) take action rooted in helpful beliefs
“Do once what others say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.”
— James Cook
Now that you have created helpful beliefs, the only thing left is to take different action. Take action that reflects hope, excitement, and self-trust.
Now that you believe that you’re the right person to start a blog, it’s time to start that blog.
Now that you believe that the right person won’t think of your kid as an inconvenience, it’s time to go on a date with the person who feels good.
Your previous beliefs have gotten you this far. Use your new beliefs to move beyond your previous blocks and limitations and go toward what you want.
Overcoming your limiting beliefs, examining them, and creating new ones won’t mean much until you take different action. Use different actions to create more evidence for new beliefs. Make your mind a good place to be.
Define what you want from your life and who you want to be, then take action from an empowering place.
What are you going to do today from a place of self-trust and self-belief? Go do it.
Read next:
The Hidden Root of Perfectionism (And How to Release It)
22 Deep Thought-Provoking Journal Prompts for New Goals
Want to revisit these tips later? Pin this for when you need a reminder.
Until the next time,
Ivana
This is great advice on how to overcome limiting beliefs. It ties into what I would consider a win for this year, which is starting my blog again. It’s been a struggle and some days I still want to quit but I just keep telling myself I CAN do it.
Love that, Rebecca! You absolutely CAN do it!
It’s normal that you want to quit sometimes, especially in the beginning when you’re not seeing results and are wondering why are you even doing it. Every successful blogger has gone through that phase.
BUT, if that’s something you really want to do, then let your passion guide you. We all start from zero, and only YOU decide how far will you go.
Really good advice! I’ve been journaling for many years, and it always helps.
My big win this year is that I adopted a new, healthier cooking style to accommodate my husband’s health needs, and started a website/blog to share it with others.
Yes, journaling is a life-changer 🙂
That’s amazing, April! Love that you decided to take it a step further and document your journey on your blog!
“Stop blaming other people for how you live your life. In order to rewrite your story, you have to realize that it’s only YOUR story to write.” – I love this quote so much, and I wish that I had realised that sooner! I’d say that my biggest win this year is slowly learning to take breaks, even when I have a ton of stuff to do! It seems like such a small thing, but I’ve been struggling with this a lot since I’ve started working for myself. I’m even planning to take an actual vacation for the first time in almost two years. 🙂
That’s definitely a big one, Karina! I feel like a lot of people nowadays are struggling with finding a balance between work and breaks. And that line becomes so blurry when you’re working from home.
So happy for you that you managed to work it out 🙂
I’m sure that much-needed vacation is going to feel really rewarding!
I’ve really worked on this this year. It’s enabled me to feel confident enough to go LIVE on social media.
Love that, Katy! Going live is definitely a great way to build a connection with your audience 🙂
I’d say my biggest win this year is that I’ve taken control of my health. I’ve lost 30 pounds (looking to lose about 20 more) and I’m living a much healthier life style. Excited to see where I end up by the end of this year!
I’m so happy for you, Anna! It’s amazing how you decided to take control of your health and that you’re loving the results 🙂