There’s this misconception that confident people don’t have fears and limiting beliefs. We tend to believe that confident people don’t care about what others might think. They just follow their goals and never worry about potential judgment or rejection.
But confidence is not about never being afraid. True confidence is when you feel scared, you’re not 100% ready, but you take action anyway. You don’t stop when you feel afraid or an insecurity comes up. You move through it.
Today, I’m sharing with you 3 things confident people don’t do and how they approach fears and disempowering beliefs.
Ready to build your confidence and start showing up despite fears?
Let’s dive in.
1. Confident people don’t let fear stop them from going after what they want.
“Because so often when we say we’re unqualified for something, what we’re really saying is that we’re too scared to try it, not that we can’t do it.”
― Jen Sincero
Does this mean that confident people don’t feel fear? No. Of course, they do. They just refuse to live life based on fear.
Everyone feels afraid of something at some point. Fear of failure, fear of being judged, fear of being rejected, fear of things going wrong… That’s completely normal.
But what confident people do differently is that they feel the fear, they even expect it, but they move through it. They know that fear is going to come up as they evolve and do new things, but that fear doesn’t stop them from taking action.
On the other hand, if you identify with having low self-confidence, you might let your fears have the last word. It’s not that you’re not capable or that confident people have a secret knowledge and power. The only difference is in the way we all approach our fears.
Low self-confidence leads to inaction and staying stuck thinking ‘’What if I fail? What if I get rejected?’’ And you take fear as a sign to stop and stay where you are.
However, if you want to achieve your goals and live the life you desire, you have to take control of your fear instead of letting fear control how far you go in life.
The next time you’re afraid of judgment, rejection, or your worst-case scenario, ask yourself, “What am I actually afraid of?” Acknowledge the fear, but also acknowledge the best-case scenario you’re missing out on due to fear.
Plan the next small step you can take despite fear, and day by day, start moving closer to the life you want. You can’t choose what you’re afraid of, but you can choose if you’re going to let your fear stop you.
Read next:
How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection
7 Steps to Overcome the Fear of Failure
2. Confident people don’t waste their time on other people’s opinions.
“Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.”
― Tina Fey
Again, this doesn’t mean that confident people don’t care about what other people think. To a degree, we all care about what other people might think about us.
We all care about how we present ourselves. Of course, we want to look our best in front of other people. We want to be accepted and understood. That’s normal.
But again, the difference is that confident people don’t focus on people who might judge them. They don’t focus on people who don’t support them. They know that those people exist, sure, but they’re just not in their focus.
They know that they are not going to be liked by everyone. And they’re fine with that. Other people’s opinions don’t stop them from taking action.
On the other hand, if you have low self-confidence, what oftentimes can happen is that you think that someone else might judge you, which stops you from taking action. Other people’s opinions can stop you from doing what you want and being who you are.
Confident people are still aware that there are going to be people who are not going to like them, but that doesn’t hold them back.
Therefore, what I want to encourage you to do is to accept that everyone has an opinion. Everyone has an opinion about everything.
And if you try to be liked by everyone, you will end up disappointing yourself because you’re stripping your identity and authenticity.
To navigate this, focus on how you can make yourself feel proud rather than how to make everyone else like you. Make sure that when you go to bed tonight, you are content with what you did today and you feel proud of yourself. Make sure that what you’re doing is aligned with your values, goals, and desires.
Read next:
Dealing with Negative Comments: How to Protect Your Energy and Stay True to Yourself
8 Tips to Say No Without Feeling Guilty and Selfish
3. They don’t let their beliefs limit them.
Belief is a thought that you have the evidence for. You think a thought, find evidence for it, and it starts making sense. You start believing it. Belief is not a fact, which means that your beliefs can change.
Confident people know that their unhelpful beliefs are not facts that should hold them back.
Everyone has certain limiting beliefs.
But the question is – are you going to let those limiting beliefs stop you from taking action? Or are you going to deal with those beliefs, knowing that they’re not facts and that you can change them?
For instance, let’s say that you have a limiting belief that you’re not good enough to get a promotion at your job.
Confident people are not going to let that belief stop them. They are not going to see that belief as a fact because they know that that belief is there to keep them safe where they already are.
When you think that you’re not good enough for something better, you’re going to stay where you are. And where you are is where you are secure and there are no surprises.
On the other hand, when you look at that limiting belief as what it is – just a thought that you convinced yourself to be true, then you can replace it with another thought. A more beneficial thought.
You can say to yourself that even though there are areas you can improve, you can still apply. You can still prepare for an interview. You can still show up and do your part. You can collect evidence as to why it’s a good idea to apply. And then maybe you get the promotion, who knows?
But if you don’t even apply, of course, you’re not going to get promoted.
So even though a thought “What if I’m not good enough for a promotion?” initially came up, you’re not going to let it control your life or limit your potential because you decide to support the belief that says, “But, what if I am?” And you deserve to at least give yourself the opportunity to succeed.
And that’s the thing, confident people are going to still apply for that promotion because they know that on the other side of that limiting belief is opportunity.
On the other side of the fear that they might get rejected is the willingness to actively participate in their goals. The only fact is that the actual event hasn’t even happened yet. You can either stay stuck in fear or actively move toward what you want.
Look at confidence as a muscle. You will build it by doing things that are outside of your comfort zone. You will increase your confidence by pushing your limits and replacing those unhelpful beliefs with encouraging ones.
So don’t let your past beliefs limit you. Instead, show up, do your part and know that even if things don’t go that well, you still have your back. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you want it to, you’re still going to be fine.
You’re still going to be proud of yourself because you have done everything in your power. And that’s the most important thing when you’re dealing with fear, limiting beliefs, and worrying about what other people might think. Those things are outside of your control.
What you need to do is to focus on things you can control. Focus on the way that you show up. Focus on your actions, your mindset, and your words.
At the end of the day, that’s the only thing that you can control. You can’t control if someone else is going to like you and it’s not your job to control that. Your job is to make sure that you like yourself.
Read next:
3 Toxic Mindsets that Sabotage Your Success
5 Life-Coaching Tools for Confidence: Build Self-Belief That Lasts
Until the next time,
Ivana
This was really interesting to read! It is always amazing to read other people’s perspective about this topic.
Point #3 about limiting beliefs is so true! We try to protect ourselves but we often just end up hurting ourselves. Great post!
Confidence can make you unapologetic and sure about yourself
This is so true, especially the one about other people’s opinion. It’s amazing what you can achieve when you stop listening to others opnions!
Sigh. I struggle with all these things. Definitely need to work on them!