La Ivana Author of She’s Intense • Self-Respect & Personal Autonomy

In today’s post, I share my favorite self-improvement books to help you shift your mindset and find the courage to go after the life you want. I share what each book helped me the most with, as well as my biggest takeaways from each self-improvement book.

Want to add some amazing motivational books to your to-read list? Then let’s dive in.

1. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” 
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

When it comes to self-improvement books, Tolle is easily my favorite author. Each of his books is a journey back to myself. A New Earth helped me realize that every situation is neutral. Only when we attach our opinions and emotions to the situation does it become positive or negative. We have the power to give the situation whatever meaning we want to. And it’s up to us to alchemize what we’d normally complain about into an opportunity for growth.

Tolle also talks about the present moment as the only one we have. With that in mind, I started stressing less about the future and making sure I was satisfied today. I stopped with the constant pressure to have everything figured out and instead, brought the focus back to “What’s required of me today? What am I in control of today?”

To learn all about ego, your purpose, and the two main elements of living, I highly recommend this book.

Read next:
Choose Your Thoughts: How to Stop Spiraling and Rewire Your Mind

How to Stop Living Under Constant Pressure and Create a Calm Life

2. The Vortex by Esther and Jerry Hicks

“Your life is supposed to feel good to you.”
― Esther and Jerry Hicks, The Vortex

This is my favorite Law of Attraction book and one of my absolute favorite self-improvement books overall. I read a lot of books on this topic in the last ten years, and this one has taught me the most. The most valuable lesson I got from it is that you know that you’re on the right path if it feels right. So simple, and so effective.

Ask yourself, “Does what I’m currently doing feel right? When do I feel my best?” Follow the answers.

To start manifesting what you desire, make sure you feel good now. You can’t achieve happiness by feeling desperate. Something needs to change.

When you do what you’re passionate about, you’re in the vortex. When you do things that make you feel good, you’re in the right place to achieve your desired outcome. This book has taught me to focus on doing what I can to match the feeling I say I want, rather than waiting for something external to give me permission to feel good.

3. Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle

“Here is a new spiritual practice for you: don’t take your thoughts too seriously.” 
― Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

If you haven’t read anything by Tolle, I’d suggest starting with this one. It’s a simple read, and he touches upon a variety of subjects.

This book taught me a great deal about relationships with others. One of the most valuable lessons came when he said that if someone else’s past were our past, their suffering ours, their level of consciousness ours, then we would think and act just as they do. By learning that, you can become understanding, compassionate, and at peace.

Often, we don’t understand other people’s actions. Just a few weeks ago, I was in a situation where someone couldn’t understand why I refused to do something for them. They didn’t ask why I made that decision. They just said “Ok,” and later they judged my choice. The thing is, that person has a completely different life and different values. Therefore, it’s hard for them to understand my point of view.
But, with this lesson in mind, you can realize that if you had the same life experiences and the same past as someone else, you would do the same as they are doing. 

Read next:
22 Deep Thought-Provoking Journal Prompts for New Goals

22 Journal Prompts for Self-Respect: Own Your Power

4. The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin

“It’s been freeing to focus on what works for me rather than what’s wrong with me.”
― Gretchen Rubin, The Four Tendencies

This one changed my productivity level the most. I learned that my tendency is called a Rebel, which means that planners, habit trackers, and accountability partners don’t work for me. I’m the type of person who resists both inner and outer expectations. I’ve been failing to keep track of my habits and to plan my days a week ahead. Only with this book did I accept that it wasn’t what motivated me.

I always knew this about myself, but I had a hard time accepting it because no one talks about productivity for people who resist inner and outer expectations. It’s always about getting an accountability partner (outer expectation) or creating a habit tracker (inner expectation). But what if neither of those works for you?

Some people find having someone to keep them accountable works great for them. For me, a Rebel, I couldn’t care less about what someone expects me to do. I need to find motivation within myself. I need to focus on what my why is. And if it’s strong enough, I will take action to achieve my goal. With this book, I learned more about myself, and it absolutely deserves a place in my top 5 self-improvement books.

Whatever tendency you may be, knowing more about yourself will help you succeed in work and life, rather than forcing what works for someone else. 

5. She’s Intense by Ivana Skoric

“It takes courage to acknowledge you want something different, say, “Good for her, but not for me,” or “Good for you, but not for me,” and ignite a path that no one in your family ever took.”
— Ivana Skoric, She’s Intense

This one is mine, and it changed my life long before I published it, as I experienced the very lessons I shared. It’s a guide to self-respect and personal autonomy for women.

In the first part of the book, I explore how to create your own rules in life. I share thought-provoking questions and insights to help you uncover whose rules you’re following, what you are basing your decisions on, and how to create the life you desire without waiting for permission or anyone’s approval.

Then the second part moves into self-respect. It guides you in setting standards, redefining singlehood, approaching dating without losing yourself, and, finally, becoming a woman who deeply respects herself and acts accordingly.

It’s exactly what helped me stop people-pleasing, build an identity that doesn’t depend on validation, and create a life that feels like mine. You can order my book on Amazon.

Until the next time,
Ivana

growth mindset self help books