La Ivana Cert. Life Coach · The La Ivana Podcast

Is this you? You want to build your confidence but you don’t know where to start from. You tried affirmations but they just never work. Somehow, you feel even less confident because you feel like a failure. If you could relate to this, then you’re in the right place because today, I’m sharing with you 5 life-coaching tools for confidence.

I’m not just going to make a list of things that I use with my clients, but I’m also going to share how YOU can use these life-coaching tools to build your confidence.

Let’s get started.

1) setting goals

 

First things first, you need to set some goals. This is what I do with all my clients when we start working together.

We’re all about the big vision that my client wants to achieve. The best-case scenario, setting intentions, all that jazz.

You’d think that this is one of the most obvious life-coaching tools for confidence, but… It’s actually not.

I often see a pattern with my clients.

A lot of them are high-achieving women in high positions at their work and they’re used to setting goals for their job.

At work-meetings, they even use a well-known SMART approach to set goals and they love it.

But what they realize during our sessions is that they can use the same approach for their personal life.

One of my clients started setting weekly goals which she never thought of before. Once she started setting weekly goals, her bigger goals got more manageable and easier to achieve. Setting weekly goals also gave her focus for the week.

So, how can you use goal-setting as one of the life-coaching tools for confidence?

You could start by simply asking yourself what is your goal with confidence.
I know, I know, your goal with confidence is to build confidence.

But actually, what I mean by this is asking yourself what goals could you achieve if you were confident.

And the answer can even be – going to the gym, going live on Instagram, setting firm boundaries with your family, etc.

And then figuring out how does confidence play a role in that and slowly working through that.

It’s a process, for sure. But the good place to start is just figuring out what is it that you want and how your lack of confidence is holding you back from achieving that.

2) not using the word should

 

Let me ask you one thing, are you should-ing all over yourself?

You might not agree with me when I say this, but – there is NO ONE THING that you SHOULD do.

You SHOULD wake up early if you want to be productive? No.
You SHOULD go to the gym if you want to lose weight? Myths upon myths upon myths.
You SHOULD post at least once a week if you want to be a full-time blogger? Shhhh… (Personally, I post once a month and I still earn more from my blog than I have ever earned with my 9-to-5 jobs. And no, it’s not just in my case. And no, it’s not just luck.)
You SHOULD go to college if you want to get a good job and earn a lot of money? God, no.

IT’S. A. CHOICE.

The reason why you have convinced yourself that you SHOULD be doing something is because you’re afraid of what could happen if you don’t do it. But that’s a topic for another day. 

Everything you’re doing is what you have DECIDED to do.

Everything you believe is what you have DECIDED to believe.

If you don’t like it, why don’t you change it?

Why I said that not using the word ‘’should’’ is one of the life-coaching tools for confidence is because coaches don’t tell you what you should be doing.

We’re not here to give you advice.

Who am I to tell you how to live YOUR life?

Just yesterday I had a session with my amazing client and she found a way to achieve her goal that a lot of people advise not to do. And I told her, ‘’ Different things work for different people.’’

She knows what works for her and she’s doing it.

It’s making her feel positive, excited, and motivated. And that’s key.

So how can you use this life-coaching tool to build your confidence?

Ask yourself why do you feel that you should be doing XYZ.
What’s making you think that you should do it?
Is it really a fact that this is the only way or maybe you could try something else?

That’s just some food for thought. Let me know what comes up for you!

 

3) focusing on the solution

 

As a certified solution-focused coach, this is my strong suit.

I am always there for my clients to talk about their struggles, problems, and what they’re dealing with. But, I also know how to guide them to the solution.

The thing is that oftentimes, you’re so attached to the problem you’re dealing with that it’s difficult to see the big picture and where that ‘’exit’’ sign is.

Imagine that your problem is a room. While you’re focused on the problem, you’re still in that room and you don’t know where the exit sign is. You just can’t see it.

There are walls around the room you’re in and you can’t see what’s on the outside. (The guy who came up with the idea of walls must be feeling pretty good right now. #ChandlerHumor)

But I, as a coach, am not in that room. I see the whole floor and I easily see the exit sign.
That’s why it’s easier for me to guide you to the exit, or, in this case, to the solution.

So, how you can use this as one of the life-coaching tools for confidence is simply by asking yourself – what’s the solution?

Just like that. Stop the complaining cycle and focus on the solution.

Sure, sometimes it takes more than that to see the solution and the best option to move forward with, but it’s a good place to start.

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4) holding yourself accountable

 

Even after our coaching program, you need to know how to hold yourself accountable.

I have received messages from my previous clients telling me that what we covered during our time together, STILL helps them in their daily life.

Coaching requires you to stay committed. That way, you learn to follow up with your plans and it becomes easier even when you finish the coaching program you invested in.

During our session, one of my clients realized that setting weekly goals is something that helps her hold herself accountable.

Another one of my clients loves spreadsheets and trackers. So, she made one for the goal she’s currently working on.

I guide my clients to figure out what works best for them so that they can learn to rely on themselves and hold themselves accountable.

Accountability is one of the most popular life-coaching tools for confidence because your coach is there to support you and help you along the way.

But learning how to be there for yourself is even more powerful.

So ask yourself this question, ‘’How can I hold myself accountable to achieve my goal? What do I need to help me stay committed?”

5) becoming aware of your language

 

One of the things that I love doing is sending my clients audio recordings of our sessions so that they can realize what questions challenged them to think differently and they can also become aware of their own language.

I’ll give you a recent example of what happened to me. I filmed a video training on how to stop feeling unworthy and start feeling empowered (download it here), and when I finished filming, I thought I did a great job.

Then, a day later, while I was editing it, I realized that I said the word ‘’like’’ way more than I would’ve liked (no pun intended).

And here’s the thing, while we speak, we don’t pay too much attention to the words that have become just a part of our vocabulary.

But then, when we MINDFULLY listen to what we were saying, we get the opportunity to analyze our own language and see what we can change.

For my clients, they realize that they’re constantly saying, ‘’I CAN’T’’ or ‘’I SHOULD.’’

While listening to what you’re saying, you also see what are those limiting beliefs that you weren’t even aware of.

I remember the first session I had with one of my clients, she was telling me about why she felt unmotivated, and she said, ‘’I can’t. Well, I CAN, I just feel like…’’

She managed to instantly reframe her limiting belief. And that’s what happens when you become aware of your language and the words you use.

I guide my clients through uncovering and overcoming their limiting beliefs and it’s the most powerful thing when it comes to building your confidence.

No amount of mindless affirmations will make you feel confident if you don’t deal with your limiting beliefs, first.

Tell me, Reader, did this resonate with you? Do you feel like this is a good start but you need more help with building your confidence?

If you have some additional questions, feel free to DM me on Instagram @laivana_ or fill out the contact form here.

Until the next time,
I.

building confidence self-confidence