La Ivana Author of She’s Intense • Self-Respect & Personal Autonomy

In today’s post, I’m sharing how to take back your power by taking responsibility for your future, unlearning unhelpful stories you’ve heard, and reclaiming control over your reactions.

Let’s dive in.

1) take responsibility for where you go from here

“Character — the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life — is the source from which self-respect springs.”
― Joan Didion

Sure, you can dig into your past to find what went wrong or how you have contributed to any negative situation that happened. Or, you can use what you have, the knowledge you already have, to help you create a better future from here.

To take back your power means not letting other people make decisions for you. It means listening to yourself, what makes sense for you, and acting according to what’s best for you.

When you want to take responsibility for your future, you can start by doing a life audit. Look at where you are, what you like in your life, and what you don’t like. From there, take control to change what needs to change instead of continuing to live a life that doesn’t even feel like yours.

What are the changes you want to make?
What habits do you want to stop?
What do you want to stop tolerating?

Look at the role you play in your own life and take responsibility to adjust what needs to shift.

Read next:

How to Know if You Have Outgrown Who You Used to Be

9 Ways to Hold Yourself to a High Standard

2) pause before you react

“We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”
― Epictetus

How many times has someone pulled you into a discussion that only upset you?
How many futile arguments did you have, hoping to change the opinion of someone who doesn’t even matter to you?

Refusing to engage in unnecessary arguments is how you can take back your power. A lot of times, people will say something just to cause a reaction. Just because their ego needs attention.

Your colleague asking you, “Why aren’t you married yet?” doesn’t deserve a 10-minute conversation that leaves you drained for the rest of the day.
Your aunt saying, “This kitchen could use a good scrub,” doesn’t require a discussion where you explain how your sink broke and you didn’t have time to deal with it because you were out of town this weekend.

Notice arguments that are not yours. Recognize when you get pulled into explaining, justifying, and defending your point of view.

Let people be wrong and misunderstand you. It’s either that or giving up on your peace and having your mood ruined for the rest of the day.

Not everything requires your reaction. Practice saying “Okay” and leaving people to think whatever they need to think.

Read next:

Living Under Constant Pressure: How to Create a Calm Life and a Clear Mind

Dealing with Negative Comments: How to Protect Your Energy and Stay True to Yourself

3) do your own thinking

“The danger of remaining silent is over time you begin to lose your voice. You forget how to stand up for yourself and end up settling for less than you deserve or desire.”
― Tanesia Harris

To take back your power means to stop letting other people define you and your life. You don’t have to have the same definition of success and happiness as your family. Just because generations before you decided to follow a certain path doesn’t mean that you should, too.

This is your life, and it’s time to act like it. Ask yourself questions such as:
If you could choose any career, which one would you choose?
Where in your life do you feel caged or like you’re meant for something more?
If you listened to what you want, what decisions would you start making?

If you want more guidance, get 70+ deep journal prompts to help you gain clarity about what you want and how to start creating a life that feels good. Take back your power and create a life by your rules.

Want to revisit these tips later? Pin this for when you need a reminder.

Until the next time,
Ivana

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