dealing with negative comments
Personal growth

3 Powerful Ways for Dealing with Negative Comments

April 25, 2018

Dealing with negative comments is inevitable nowadays when social media is stronger than ever. Whether I’m going on YouTube comment section to leave a comment and finding some negative ones. Or people in real life having certain expectations of you and if you’re not meeting those expectations, you’re given a negative opinion. Whatever the situation may be, we all have received certain negativity from other people and found ourselves offended by what someone else thinks. For me, that’s nonsense… Letting someone else’s words taking control over our feelings towards ourselves. So let me share with you 3 ways of dealing with negative comments.

 

1. Consider the source.

 

If you’re going to focus on anything, focus on WHO is telling you something, not WHAT has been said. When you realize that person who said something negative to you isn’t really worth your time, especially if it’s some drunk guy on a Saturday night, their opinion doesn’t have any worth anymore. Or even if it’s one of your parents, if they’re saying something negative it’s always based on their own life. Yes, some may say that parents always wish the best for their children and I have nothing against that saying, but even our own parents tend to look at things from their own perspective not fully empathizing with their children. If the source isn’t standing in your shoes, don’t waste your time on their negativity.

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dealing with negative comments

2. Dealing with negative comments: true vs. false

 

This one is pure logic. I’m so glad I realized this years ago because once you realize it, there’s no way anyone can offend you. And that doesn’t mean you have your head stuck in the clouds or you’re not aware of yourself and your surroundings. It just means that you know who you are and you’re not letting other people mess with that.

TRUE
For instance, if someone said that you’re a messy person, and you know it’s true – you have all the power to change it. If you found yourself offended because someone pointed out something you don’t like about yourself, change it. Yes, you can sit around all day and think to yourself how does that person dare to tell you something that is actually true, or you can take control over your life and change what you don’t like.

On the other hand, if it’s true and you do like it, but others perceive it as something negative – own it. For instance, my mum always tells me how stubborn I am, and that’s one of the things I like about myself. I have a strong character and am not easily influenced by what others want from me. I remember my friend from high school who was the complete opposite. Whatever someone would suggest or tell her to do, she would always do it, no matter how bad that may be for her. So I like the fact that I am stubborn and I don’t intend to change it.

FALSE
For example, if someone calls you stupid but you know you’re not stupid – how can you get offended by that? Let’s try with an easier example. If you have brown eyes and someone comes up to you and says ”you have really ugly blue eyes”, would you get offended by that? Or would you laugh it off and think that that’s pure nonsense?

But in order for this to work, you have to know yourself. You have to know your good and your bad sides so that no one can use it against you. Once that’s clear, dealing with negative comments is so easy.

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dealing with negative comments

3. What other people think of you has nothing to do with you.

 

What someone else thinks of you is based on their personal experiences in life. On expectations that have been put upon them by other people, on their own background etc. Let’s imagine a guy named Hank. Some people like Hank, some don’t, some hate him. But Hank is one person. The reason why people have different opinions on Hank is that they are different people with different characters, different ideas on how Hank should act like, different expectations of Hank etc. And those opinions have nothing to do with Hank.

Hank is going to his job every day, minding his own business, and other people have the variety of opinions about him that are based purely on their life. On their beliefs of how Hank should behave, look etc.
Ok, enough about Hank. I hope what I was trying to convey with this example is now clear.

I was reminded of this while reading Jen Sincero’s book ”You are a Badass: How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life” – highly recommend.

So to conclude, be yourself. Always be unapologetically yourself. Some might like you, someone might hate your presence, and that’s absolutely fine.
As long as you like yourself, as long as you are constantly growing and improving as a person, you got it right. Remember that we are all on our own path and don’t let someone else’s opinion change your direction.

There are always going to be some negative comments thrown your way. The sooner you put your own opinion as a priority, the sooner you’ll find that it’s okay if someone thinks negative of you and you’re not going to give it value anymore. If someone is spreading negativity, it’s their own way of dealing with themselves. No matter what they say about you, the weight they have on their shoulders is something they don’t know how to get rid of. They are spreading negativity around themselves because it’s the only way they can forget about that weight.

At the end of the day, it’s all about you. When dealing with negative comments, it’s all about you being confident in who you are and feeling good in your own skin.
Let go of the negative to create space for the positive. Be the best version of yourself, the world needs you just as you are.

Check out my ”100 Steps Closer” eBook filled with motivational quotes, affirmations, journal prompts and action steps to get you 100 steps closer to the life you want.

Have an amazing day,

I.

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  1. I love this post! Especially the true versus false one. I think it’s also important to take a step back and consider what frame of mind we are in because there are periods where negative comments just run off me like water and others where they penetrate way too deep.

  2. This is a great post!! Especially now a days when everyone is on social media and can say anything. They don’t feel the consequences of their actions because they literally can not see how it affects someone.

  3. Great tips! Some time or another we all have to deal with that jerk hiding behind their keyboard talking junk for whatever reason. Sometimes it’s hard to know how to react, or if you should react at all! Your tips really touch on all the bases of how to handle this. Love it!

  4. I think I used to take negative comments more personally. (I used to actually feel bad and go to the trouble of deleting them.) Now, I respond what something cheerful—that probably confuses the person who left it—and I leave it. I figure that anyone else thinking of doing the same thing will realize that I don’t care that much and will refrain from piling on. Thanks for sharing insight on a common problem.

  5. Wow, I feel like this post was delivered with quiet a bit of inner strength! Love it! I needed to read that! And I‘m glad I did.
    I completely agree with you. Most negativity stems from people dealing with their own burdens and problems. If they don‘t have an outlet, you might become the person who is just at the right time available to them, so they can dump all of their unresolved negative feelings on you without you having anything to do with what is going on. And you‘re right it takes confidence in yourself to not get offended then and to rise above it and seeing through that negativity.
    I will definitely take your advice to heart 🌹😊

  6. I love your tips, it’s so important to remember that other people’s opinions don’t change who you really are.. especially if these people don’t even know you in person!
    And in any case, negative comments say more about the person who writes them than about the one who receives them.

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