Did you know that you can change your life whenever you want? That’s right, not just on January 1st. But why don’t we change our lives and go after our dreams more often, or at all? One of the reasons is that we are very good at building a toxic mindset that keeps us away from going after our wildest dreams.
Today, I’m sharing with you 3 toxic mindsets that keep us stagnant in our comfort zone. Additionally, I’m sharing with you action steps to let go of each toxic mindset.
Cue quotes.
Toxic mindset #1 Thinking that small steps don’t matter
“It is to our own detriment that we underestimate the might of small and simple things.”
―
This one came to mind last Saturday when I went out with a friend. I saw a coin on the ground and when I went to pick it up, my friend told me ”you’re picking that up? That’s not even a quarter!”
This is a money habit I learned from Marie Forleo. She also picks up money from the ground, no matter the amount. (It’s a mindset thing I’ll explain later)
What I realized is that people are impatient and want big results instantly. If you would see a 100 dollars on the street, you would immediately take it. However, when you see a coin, you think it’s too insignificant. Why would you even bother picking it up?
In addition, the same goes for developing new habits. I used to think that only a minimum of 30-minute workout counts. Why would I even bother to do a 10-minute workout? But it’s those small steps that create big results.
If you have only 30 minutes to work on your side hustle, you might think that there’s nothing much you could do in that period of time. But that’s exactly the amount of time YOU NEED to start going in the right direction.
In my opinion, it’s more of a mindset thing. When I picked up that coin, I was signaling the Universe that I’m open to receiving money. I saw there’s abundance and I accepted it. I allowed it to come in my experience.
Action step: I encourage you to think of small steps that you can easily fit in your schedule to achieve your bigger goal. If it’s 10-minute research, writing a concept for your book or a project you’re working on… Whatever it is, think about the SMALLEST steps that will get you closer to your BIGGEST goal. Then, make a list of a few steps you need to take to start building momentum and start taking action. Today.
Toxic mindset #2 Thinking that settling for less is the safest option
”Don’t settle for mediocrity. Take a chance. Take a risk. Find that passion. Rekindle it. Fall in love all over again. It’s really worth it. ”
– Brian Cranston
My intention with this blog is to encourage you to stop doing things that make you feel miserable and to start doing more of the things you love. As I’ve said multiple times, out loud and in a written form, you can’t do things that make you feel miserable and hope you’ll be happy. No, that’s not going to happen.
This toxic mindset is very common nowadays. People work a job they hate because they think they can’t get anything better. They are where they are and that’s it.
What’s the reason for sabotaging yourself like that? Why wouldn’t you send out 100 resumes this week and go after what you want? Why wouldn’t you start your own business, write a book, become the next J. K. Rowling? Why the heck wouldn’t you?
Because of your fear of failure? Because you’re embarrassed about how it would look like if your colleagues would find out? Trust me, I’ve experienced that type of a toxic mindset.
However, those initial steps are inevitable. Lately, there’s been a trend on YouTube where creators film their reaction to their first videos. Heaps of those videos have ”cringe-worthy” in the title. That’s how start looks like, in retrospective.
Nevertheless, if they hadn’t gone through that ”cringe-worthy” phase, they wouldn’t be here a few YEARS later. Working a job of their dreams, having full control over their schedule and work location.
Recently, after binging on Sons of Anarchy, I watched an interview with Charlie Hunnam and he had the same reaction to one of his first roles. To sum up, that cringy phase unavoidable in any career path you choose. Actually, not just when it comes to career, but everything else in life. The start is rarely easy and effortless.
The important thing is to just get over it. Start doing the things you love. Yes, it’s going to be cringy in the beginning and you’ll want to close your eyes looking back on it in a few years. However, would you rather face the discomfort while doing things you’re passionate about OR would you rather settle for the life that doesn’t make you excited?
Action step: Journal about your dream life. What do you want to do for a living? How do you want to spend your time? Feel free to download eBook and journal below to start shifting from a toxic mindset to encouraging one – DAILY.
#3 Thinking that it’s possible for someone else, but not for you
“You are capable of more than you know. Choose a goal that seems right for you and strive to be the best, however hard the path. Aim high. Behave honorably. Prepare to be alone at times, and to endure failure. Persist! The world needs all you can give.”
– E. O. Wilson
We all have a different set of skills, talents, and aspirations. Imagine how far YOU could go if you’d only believe in yourself and follow your own path.
I knew a guy in high school who drew insanely well and when I see other creative artists doing what they’re passionate about for a living, it honestly makes me sad when I see people like that guy buried in their day job while their real talent stagnates.
On the other hand, it makes me really happy and motivated seeing those creative artists and musicians succeeding and living their passion. From my own experience, I know what’s it like to build something out of nothing and to achieve success in it.
When I see someone crushing it, it inspires me to work harder on the things I’m passionate about. It’s a mindset shift I encourage you to make. Instead of being jealous of other people, use their success as a motivation to realize that it can happen to you, too.
Instead of being that person who sees someone successful and calls them pretentious and conceited, become aware that it took hard work and a lot of courage to be where they are. Use their success as inspiration, instead of being jealous of their chapter 20 while you’re too lazy and full of excuses to move from chapter 1.
No one is an over-night success. It took me a year to make blogging my full-time job. It took a lot of breakdowns, stress, tears, fear, and worry. I quit my job as a receptionist at a 4-star hotel and I’ve built my location independent business online.
Samuel L. Jackson had his breakout role at the age of 46.
Similarly, Morgan Freeman’s success came when he was 52.
Yes, I googled that to show you that there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline for success. But there’s a one-size-fits-all ingredient for success. And that is – trying. You have to try.
I listened to a podcast where a woman in her 30’s talked about how she failed 5 times while she was trying to build a business. Her boyfriend at a time told her ‘’if you failed 5 times already, maybe it’s time for you to stop trying’’
But, she tried again. With all the lessons she learned while failing, she eventually built a successful business. Ultimately, it paid off. She also broke up with that guy who wasn’t supportive.
She’s now an online coach and she has intentionally built her dream life. She made it because she never gave up. And that’s what differs successful people from people doing things they don’t even like. Trying. Ones realize that it will take time but it will pay off in the long-run. Others are focused on excuses that create a toxic mindset.
Action step: Find someone who does what you’d love to do. If you’d like to become a 6-figure health & wellness coach, find someone who is already successful at that. If you’d like to do photography for a living or if you’d like to become a best-selling author, actress, digital nomad, ANYTHING. Basically, find someone who already does that, and let them be an inspiration for you to KNOW that it’s possible.
Read a bit about their story, ask them for advice, read their articles, watch their videos, etc. Realize that if it’s possible for someone else, it’s possible for you, too. But, what do you need to do? You need to START. Start taking action in the direction of your dreams. Let go of your limiting beliefs and step into the best version of yourself.
Lately, I’ve been inspired by Ruby Lee. She is a business coach and this year she started her digital nomad journey. #goals
Let me know in the comments who is that person for you right now? Is there someone who lives your definition of a dream life? I’d love to know why you find them inspiring.
P.S. Feel free to share this post if you liked it.
Until the next time,
I.
Such a good wake up call! I constantly catch myself not thinking about how the little steps all add up. It’s such an important thing to remind yourself of.
Definitely 🙂
This blog was extremely motivating for the journey I’m on right now. Really great read!!!
Glad it resonated with you, Melissa 🙂
Great tips here! I, especially can relate to the last tip. I have to continuously tell myself that if it can happen for “them”, it can happen for me as well. Thanks for sharing!
That’s a great reminder! Glad you liked it, Marie 🙂
Great post. I love tip#1 most. Small steps do better but we forget that. I like how you structured the post with action steps to actually do. Also the advice to find someone who’s actually done what you want is such a super one.
So true I have been working hard to change my mindset and limiting time around people who have a toxic mindset as well.
That’s great! I started being more intentional about who I surround myself with lately, as well. It’s life-changing 🙂