La Ivana Author of She’s Intense • Self-Respect & Personal Autonomy

Have you noticed how many times we let our unhelpful thoughts run the show? How many times do we let a toxic mindset that makes us believe we’re not good enough stand in the way? Today, we’re naming some of the most common toxic mindsets so that you can recognize them and rise above them the next time they come up.

Additionally, I’m sharing action steps and journal prompts to release each toxic mindset. Let’s dive in.

3 Toxic Mindsets That Keep You Small (and How to Reclaim Your Power)

1) thinking that small steps don’t matter

“It is to our own detriment that we underestimate the might of small and simple things.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich

What’s that line that we have decided counts as good enough? What’s the length of a workout that you deem good enough, and anything less than that is a waste of time? What’s the number of podcast downloads you have decided is good enough, and anything less than that means you can delete your podcast altogether?

We, as a society, have glamorized big achievements and massive action steps to the point where we see small steps in the right direction as insignificant. Not even worth a try. But it’s those small steps that create a powerful momentum required for big results.

If you have only 30 minutes to work on your side hustle, you might think that there’s nothing much you could achieve in that period of time. But that’s exactly the amount of time you need to start going in the right direction. If you want to write a book, you might think that you don’t even have to sit at your computer to write if you’re going to write less than 500 words. But even if you were to write two sentences, it would keep the ball rolling. As long as you’re going toward your desired outcome, no step is too small or insignificant.

Action step: I encourage you to take small steps you can easily fit into your schedule to achieve your bigger goal. If it’s a 15-minute at-home workout, 10-minute research, writing a concept for your book or a project you’re working on… Whatever it is. Think about the smallest steps that will get you closer to your goal. Then, make a list of a few steps you need to take to start building momentum and start taking action. Today. With exactly what you have.

Read next:

22 Deep Thought-Provoking Journal Prompts for New Goals
The Hidden Root of Perfectionism (And How to Release It)

2) thinking that settling for less is the safest option

”Don’t settle for mediocrity. Take a chance. Take a risk. Find that passion. Rekindle it. Fall in love all over again. It’s really worth it. ”
– Brian Cranston

My intention with this blog is to encourage you to stop doing things that make you feel miserable and to start doing more of the things you love. As I’ve said multiple times, out loud and in writing, you can’t do things that make you feel miserable and expect to be happy. 

This toxic mindset is very common nowadays. Are you keeping yourself stuck at a job you hate? Are you in a relationship you’d rather get out of? Do you live in a city you don’t like? How are you trapping your potential?

What’s the reason for keeping yourself from rising? Why wouldn’t you send out 100 resumes this week and go after what you want? Why wouldn’t you start your own business, write a book, and become the next best-selling author? Why wouldn’t you?

Because of your fear of failure? Because you’re embarrassed about what it would look like if your colleagues found out? We’ve all experienced that type of toxic mindset at some point.

However, those initial steps are inevitable. There’s a trend on YouTube where creators film their reaction to their first videos. Almost all of those videos have ”cringe-worthy” in the title. That’s what a start looks like, in retrospect. It’s cringe. It’s embarrassing. But it’s worth it. Otherwise, you couldn’t achieve the success that inevitably follows when you make taking action a habit.

If these YouTubers hadn’t gone through that ”cringe-worthy” phase, they wouldn’t be here years or even decades later. Working a job of their dreams, having full control over their schedule and work location.

That cringy phase is unavoidable in any career path you choose. Actually, not just career, but everything else in life. The start is rarely easy and effortless.

The important thing is to accept it and aim higher. Aim toward what you want. Start doing the things you love. Yes, it’s going to be cringy in the beginning and you’ll want to close your eyes looking back on it in a few years. However, would you rather face discomfort while doing things you’re passionate about or settle for a life that doesn’t excite you?

Action step: Journal about your dream life. What do you want to do for a living? How do you want to spend your time? Check out the posts below for more journal prompts to help you set goals and figure out what you want in life. Aim for that. Don’t settle for what’s familiar when you know you’re meant for more.

Read next:

How to Set Goals When You Don’t Know What You Want
How to Know If Your Standards Are Too Low (And Why It Matters)

3) thinking that what you want is possible for someone else, but not for you

“You are capable of more than you know. Choose a goal that seems right for you and strive to be the best, however hard the path. Aim high. Behave honorably. Prepare to be alone at times, and to endure failure. Persist! The world needs all you can give.”
– E. O. Wilson

We all have a different set of skills, talents, and aspirations. Imagine how far you could go if you believed in yourself and followed your own path. Don’t throw away your dream to build someone else’s.

When I see someone finding success and happiness in what they do, it inspires me to work harder on the things I’m passionate about. It shows me what’s possible. It’s a mindset shift I encourage you to make. Instead of feeding a toxic mindset comparing yourself to other people, use their success as a motivation to realize that it can happen to you, too.

Samuel L. Jackson had his breakout role at 46.

Morgan Freeman’s success came at 52.

Yes, I googled that to show you that there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline for success. But there’s a one-size-fits-all ingredient for success. And that is – trying. You have to try.

I listened to a podcast where a woman in her 30s talked about how she failed 5 times while she was trying to build a business. Her boyfriend at a time told her, “If you failed 5 times already, maybe it’s time for you to stop trying.’’ But she tried again. With all the lessons she learned through trial and error, she eventually built a successful business. Ultimately, it paid off. She also broke up with that guy who wasn’t supportive.

She’s now an online coach and she has intentionally built her dream life. She made it because she never gave up. And that’s what differentiates successful people from people doing things they don’t even like. Trying. Ones realize that it will take time, but it will pay off in the long run. Others focus on excuses that foster a toxic mindset.

Action step: Find someone who does what you’d love to do. If you’d like to become a 6-figure health and wellness coach, find someone who is already successful in that field. If you’d like to do photography for a living, or become a best-selling author, actress, or digital nomad… Anything. Find someone who already does that, and let them be an inspiration to remind you that it’s possible.
Read a bit about their story, ask them for advice, read their articles, or watch their videos. Realize that if it’s possible for someone else, it’s possible for you, too. But what do you need to do? You need to start. Start taking action toward your dreams.

Read next:
6 Tips to Overcome Obstacles + Journal Prompts for Dealing with Obstacles
How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection

Until the next time,

Ivana

growth mindset limiting beliefs