La Ivana Cert. Life Coach & Human Design Guide

Creating your best life and learning what makes you happiest takes time. It also takes effort. I will be honest, I did not get there until my late 20s and I realize that it is not an on and off switch but an ongoing process and choice to create a life that brings you your ultimate happiness.

Happiness and freedom are not found through another person, money or things. Your best life and best version of you is uncovered within, when you learn what really sets your soul on fire, what makes you genuinely smile and what is truly important to you, without any outside influence.

Yes, we can gain inspiration and encouragement from outside sources. Take what you learn from others and look inside yourself to realize what that means to you and how you want to emulate or incorporate that into your life.

The following are 10 tips that helped me to find my free life. My hope is that they will also help guide you to find your unique path to your best life, freedom, and self-growth.

 

1. free yourself from negative thoughts

 

Thoughts constantly run through our heads, some maybe more than others. For the longest time, I did not even think about what I was thinking or saying to myself. The talk inside my head was typically putting myself down about the way I looked and thought I was not good enough. It was not until I really freed myself from negative relationships (which I will get into more detail later) that I really began to start uncovering the negativity that went on in my own head. Again, there is not just a simple on and off switch.

You must practice positive talk and become consciously aware of what you are saying and thinking inside your head. A great thing that helped me was creating a list of affirmations (positive things about myself) that I would read each morning. This was the best way to start the day on the right foot and good practice of how self-talk should be. When you do this, it helps you also become aware of how you talk about other people.

Yes, there may be people you don’t mesh with or agree with, but learning to let go of those people rather than talk negatively to them or about them, is so freeing. Letting go of the negativity from all areas of your life is going to give you the best benefit to be the best you.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t have bad days. We are all human beings and we all have them. Days where we don’t feel or look our best. Accepting this is also part of the process. Being ok with not always doing everything right, is part of the change to a more positive you. Cut yourself some slack, let go of the B.S. and start looking at the glass half full. You owe it to yourself.

Related posts:

8 Things to Do When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

3 Powerful Ways to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

Free download:
111 Empowering Affirmations to Build Confidence and Improve Your Life

 

2. let go of relationships that don’t add value

 

I have been single since 2015. That’s almost 4 years. But guess what, it has been my choice, and I am the happiest I have ever been. Yes, I have dated here and there but my standards are high. I would rather be happy and on my own, than miserable for the sake of having someone.

I was in a relationship from the time I was 18 to 28. 4 different ones. One that kept me trapped with threats to end his life, one that was manipulative and verbally abusive, one that had no motivation in life, and one that criticized my body and decided it was ok to selfishly satisfy himself with other people at the same time.
These are not terrible people and I forgive them.

Part of the problem was that I spent too much time not standing up for myself. These last 4 years I have done nothing but be selfish in becoming what I want to be, learning my worth, raising my standards, and realizing you don’t need someone to have value or purpose.

I am not against relationships. I look forward to finding my partner in life, but I will not let the pressures of society or time force me into something that won’t add value to my life. Ladies, don’t ever settle. Wait until you know exactly what you want, take your time, and be selfish. Learn your worth, then add tax.

Here is my story about romantic relationships. These are not the only relationships you need to be aware of. Any relationships in your life, friendships, even family, should not be causing you negativity all the time. Do not be afraid to walk away from them or take a break. If it’s a close friend of the family, maybe they do not know how you feel or how they make you feel.

The first step would be having the courage to have a calm and honest conversation. If that doesn’t work, then, by all means, it is ok to distance yourself for your own happiness.

Related posts:

8 Tips to Say No Without Feeling Guilty and Selfish

How to Be Alone and Enjoy It

 

3. take time for yourself

For the longest time, I did not know myself. I only knew the false thoughts and things I would think in my head rather than truly understand who I was and what I wanted in life. I would consider myself more of an introvert, though I do not like to put myself in one box. You don’t have to either.

I also love people, getting to know them, and building close friendships. Growing up, I spent a lot of time with myself because I enjoyed that time playing and doing whatever I chose even in my own company. I am personally not someone that needs to be around people 24/7. I like a little mental break.

However, the time alone, before I got to my 20s, was not spent that wisely. Use the time for yourself as an opportunity to get to know yourself, to learn, and to grow. This time spent needs to be for you.  Everyone is different. The time alone for you to grow may look a bit different than my time to grow. It takes some practice to realize what works for you. I love to read, but maybe you don’t and that’s ok.

Try a podcast or a youtube channel, but not just anything. Find a source that helps facilitate your self-growth in an area where you feel you could use some encouragement. For example, if you have body image/self-esteem issues, find a podcast that is focused on this area and dive into it in your free time.

I create a lot of free time for myself. Maybe it’s a bit easier because I don’t have kids right now. I may not know your situation and your time may be limited, but escape when you can. Even if it’s on a car ride to work or just a few minutes each morning. Fit it into your weekly routine. This will help you become a better you, which benefits everyone around you.

4. eat healthy without “dieting”

I didn’t really know much about health until I moved out on my own in college. I started reading books and becoming intrigued by a new perspective of how food affects our bodies and even our minds. Several years later I found myself so interested in this topic that I decided to get my master’s degree in this area.

I completed my Masters of Science in Complementary Alternative Medicine in 2017, with a focus on holistic nutrition. My knowledge and interest in a healthy lifestyle continue to grow through self-education and by spreading inspiration to others.

To really create a healthy lifestyle you must have a new perspective on food. It should not be about eating “healthy” in order to be skinny. It should be about eating healthy to prevent disease, heal current ailments and feel your best from the inside. I came across an anonymous quote that absolutely sums up how I feel, “Don’t hate yourself to skinny, love yourself to healthy.”

Eating well to be skinny is not the point. And, to be honest, following some of these diets to be skinny is not actually healthy. Healthy is what is truly important. Health is what will give you the ability to live an active life, live longer, prevent disease, feel happier and the list goes on and on.

With that being said, healthy looks different on everyBODY. There is not one size, a certain weight, a certain look that indicates health. Health is all about what is within. Sure, if you eat healthy your body will also reflect it, in your own unique beautiful way.

Getting into a habit of eating healthy regularly takes a bit of time and probably preparation. I hate counting calories and do not encourage anyone to do so or to follow a strict meal plan. However, if you need guidance with meal ideas and roughly how much you should be eating each day I feel that is great.

What I want to encourage people is that you want to create an everyday routine where you eat healthy without having to think too much about it or put too much effort into it.

In reality, you are not going to count calories or stick to certain meals every single day of your life. Creating a lifestyle that has more freedom but still meets your health needs is what will leave space for you to find whole foods that you actually enjoy as well as let go of getting down on yourself if you don’t follow someone else’s expectations.

Also, an important note is that it is OK to enjoy life as well. If you are at a birthday party, eat the cake. It always makes me sad to hear someone say “oh, I am on a diet, I can’t have that.” When you limit yourself too much it causes a negative feeling, which typically leads to more indulging than necessary.

If you follow an everyday healthy eating routine, then treats here and there are ok and should be enjoyed. Life is short. Eat healthy to make it last as long as possible but also don’t miss out on life’s little indulgences. Like anything I list in here, this will take time, but if you put in the effort you do have the ability to find YOUR balance.

SAVE FOR LATER 🙂

5. implement a daily routine

Days can pass so quickly without realizing what we did or didn’t do. Having a routine can help to incorporate important things you may be missing or set up a less stressful week ahead. I have already talked about a few important things to incorporate into your routine. One of them is making sure there is time for yourself daily.

Including a list of affirmations to read for yourself each morning. Having set days that you go to the gym or work out at home. Preparing food is also a great idea. On the weekend prepare a few things to have ready to grab and go for the week. For example, I prepare a big tray of roasted vegetables that I like and put it in Tupperware to grab throughout the week.

Your daily routine does not have to be set out minute by minute and give yourself a break if it does not go completely to plan. However, if you have something set up you are more likely to hold yourself accountable and also fit more in than you maybe thought you could. Try implementing a few things, then add something new each week and make adjustments as needed.

Related posts:

10 Morning Routine Habits You’ll Love

3 Tips for a Productive & Relaxing Night Routine

6 Tips to Prepare for the Week Ahead // Weekly Routine

6. explore the world

I did not get my first passport or take my first overseas trip until 2015 when I was 28. That was almost 4 years ago and since then I have traveled to over 10 countries and counting. My first trip was a solo trip to Vietnam in 2015. It was a volunteer trip for about 2 weeks. I met up with a small group of amazing people and we taught English at various locations around Hanoi. That short trip was life-changing. I came back and immediately started figuring out how I could leave again.

Then in February of 2016 is when I made the biggest and best change of my life. I sold my house, all my things and moved to China. I taught ESL there for two years. During that time I traveled to several other countries as well as after my time there ended.

Currently, I substitute teach part-time in America, I also teach online part-time to Chinese students and run my blog. I am planning to travel full-time in 2019. I can not be happier about this life of freedom and exploration I have created for myself. All the things I have listed have helped me grow as a person, but nothing as much as experiencing different countries and cultures has.
My encouragement to you is to go. Go explore this big world we live in. Maybe traveling is not for you, and that’s ok. Just getting outside and seeing somewhere new, even in your own backyard, can be eye-opening.

Another encouragement I have learned from this is to not be afraid of change but to embrace it and even chase after it. Embracing change, whether planned or unplanned, gives you a space for the most self-growth. Everything will be ok, though in some moments it may not seem that way. Live a life of adventure, whatever adventure means to you. Allow yourself to step outside your comfort zone and free your mind, opening it to new lessons and knowledge.

Related episodes on The La Ivana Podcast:

EP58: How to Convince Yourself to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Actually Follow Through (Even When You’re Terrified)

EP48: Are You Living Your Worst-Case Scenario Right Now? + Journal Prompts for Taking Risks
 

7. don’t be afraid of change to live your best life

I touched on the change in the previous section about travel. Change does not need to be feared. Yes, it can be scary and overwhelming. Feel those emotions, they are not wrong but also find the strength to overcome them.

If you allow it, change can bring greatness into your life beyond your imagination. If you are unhappy with your job today, change it. Or, if you want to move to a new city, move. If you are not happy with your current situation it is up to you, and only you, to change it. It serves you no value to complain about it, what that does is just cause you more damage.

I realize that making a change and being comfortable with change does not just happen with a snap of the finger. If you need to, take some time to yourself to really think about what you want to be different. If you are hesitating but do not have any real reason why then my advice is just to dive headfirst into it. Think about it, but don’t overthink it.

Even if your new adventure does not go according to plan, you can be proud of yourself that you tried. Too many people let their fear completely hold them back from something great. It’s better to go for it than to sit still forever.

Trust me, I want to travel for as long as I remember, and for YEARS I held myself back for unimportant excuses. Go after what you want, it is not going to just be handed to you.

8. find what moves you

Moving your body is so vital to living a long, healthy, and happy life. Are you that person who hopes to retire one day and see the world? Or do you hope to be able to run around with your grandkids? You must incorporate physical activity into your daily life. I don’t have to sit here and list all the benefits the exercise creates for us. It’s common knowledge that exercise is good and so important to your health.

This does not mean you have to immediately join the nearest CrossFit gym or start running 5 miles a day, but you do need to move your body. I used to loathe working out. Partly because I was embarrassed to be seen, partly because I had no motivation, and lastly because I had no idea what I was doing.

When I was in my twenties and started learning about food, I also started to learn about the importance of exercise. Growing up I was active in sports on and off but I never worked out regularly. In my twenties, I finally put myself out there, joined a gym, and started taking classes.

It took some time to find what I actually enjoyed doing. Now, I love fitness. I love group classes. It’s nice to feel a part of a group that becomes your family. It creates motivation and accountability. It may take some time to find the right group class you mesh with, but I promise there are great people out there just like you, non-judgmental and ready to welcome you with open arms.

You just need to be willing to, again, step out of your comfort zone. I have also found that I enjoy weightlifting in the gym with my headphones in, in my own world. Maybe neither of these are your type of workouts.

There are so many different ways to move your body, such as yoga, walking, dance, swimming, and outdoor activities. Put yourself out there and find what moves you. You not only better your body, but better your mind.

>> Hey, Ivana here, if you need more support with finding freedom and creating the best version of yourself, check out my journaling bundle with journaling workshops for creating the next level you and building confidence. It’s the perfect way to continue your self-development journey after reading this post.

>> get the Journaling Bundle here (workshops and eBook included)

9. embrace progress, not perfection

Embrace progress, not perfection in every single area of your life. This is so important for living your free life.  Let go of unrealistic expectations or expectations that are anyone else’s but your own. If you are looking for a “perfect” body you will never be satisfied.

Instead, strive for progress that makes you feel better from the inside. Absolutely no one is perfect. So if you strive for that in any area of your life, you are automatically setting yourself up for disappointment. We are our own worst critics and tend to focus on what we consider to be imperfections, instead of focusing on what we love about ourselves.

Shift your focus and magic happens. If anyone tries to hold you to a perfect standard, then they clearly are not looking in the mirror. Progress is what you should be striving for. We all have room for progress in our lives.

Appreciating the progress, or climbing to the top, makes the view or accomplishment that much sweeter. Keep your eyes fixed on continually improving and growing yourself, and don’t be distracted by achieving perfection. If you do you will be constantly chasing something unattainable. Progress, on the other hand, is something that you have the ability to proudly achieve on your own.

10. fight for what you want

I was, for a long time, like a punching bag. Life, on the other hand, comes at you like a boxer. Throwing jabs, hooks, and uppercuts. If you don’t keep your hands up ready to take your own swings or get out of that path, then you will continue to get knocked down, while always feeling defeated and probably feeling sorry for yourself. I’ve been there.

A few short years ago is when I finally started to glove up, and for the first time, swung back. I left a job I wasn’t happy with, sold 90% of the things I owned, and began fighting for how I wanted my life to be, instead of sitting back and expecting to win by doing nothing.

I stopped putting blame on myself or anyone else for the failures and obstacles I encountered. Ultimately, I learned from those hits I have taken, and now if they come at me again I’m prepared to move or fight back.

Be a boxer. Powerful in your battle, prepared to defend yourself when needed, having the courage to stand up to anything against you, focused on your goals, continually in the practice of becoming better and graceful in your defeats.

You will not always be the champion in what you are faced with. But you will create confidence in being in control of how you react to what’s thrown your way, rather than letting it control you. When you are in control of yourself, you will always win. The main event you will be continuously matched against is your own mind, never stop winning.

 

These are things that I incorporated into my life, that I am always working on improving. They led me to a happier life filled with purpose, achievement, pride, love, growth, and even more that I am not good at putting into words. I hope that these are areas you can also use in order to better yourself, for you, not for anyone else.

Everyone deserves to be free from the power of negativity, self-doubt, fear, unhealthy habits, and living for others. You deserve it! There is no time like the present to start creating and living your best life.
 

Health, Love & Happiness,

Courtney Brady

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Guest contributor:

Courtney was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest in America. She is a teacher, blogger, and world wanderer. Her passion for holistic health led her to complete her M.S. in Complementary Alternative Medicine in 2017. Her blog allows her to combine her love of travel and health. She aspires to help others create their best free life through a healthy lifestyle, self-acceptance, job freedom, and seeing the world.

Connect with Courtney:
Blog / Facebook / Pinterest

SAVE FOR LATER 🙂

 

creating yourself finding freedom