La Ivana La Ivana · Cert. Life Coach

Dealing with negative comments is inevitable nowadays when social media is stronger than ever. Whether I’m going on the YouTube comment section to leave a comment and finding some negative ones. Or when people in real life have certain expectations of you and if you don’t meet those expectations, you’ll hear a negative opinion. Whatever the situation may be, we all have received certain negativity from other people and found ourselves offended by what someone else thinks. For me, that’s nonsense… Letting someone else’s words taking control over our feelings towards ourselves. So let me share with you 3 ways of dealing with negative comments.

1. Consider the source.

If you’re going to focus on anything, focus on WHO is telling you something, not WHAT has been said. When you realize that person who said something negative to you isn’t really worth your time, especially if it’s some drunk guy on a Saturday night, their opinion doesn’t have any worth anymore. Or even if it’s one of your parents, if they’re saying something negative it’s always based on their own life. Yes, some may say that parents always wish the best for their children and I have nothing against that saying, but even our own parents tend to look at things from their own perspective not fully empathizing with their children. If the source isn’t standing in your shoes, don’t waste your time on their negativity.

2. Dealing with negative comments: true vs. false

This one is pure logic. I’m so glad I realized this years ago because once you realize it, there’s no way anyone can offend you. And that doesn’t mean you have your head stuck in the clouds or you’re not aware of yourself and your surroundings. It just means that you know who you are and you’re not letting other people mess with that.

TRUE
For instance, if someone said that you’re a messy person, and you know it’s true – you have all the power to change it. If you found yourself offended because someone pointed out something you don’t like about yourself, change it. Yes, you can sit around all day and think to yourself how does that person dare to tell you something that is actually true, or you can take control over your life and change what you don’t like.

On the other hand, if it’s true and you do like it, but others perceive it as something negative – own it. For instance, my mum always tells me how stubborn I am, and that’s one of the things I like about myself. I have a strong character and am not easily influenced by what others want from me. I remember my friend from high school who was the complete opposite. Whatever someone would suggest or tell her to do, she would always do it, no matter how bad that may be for her. So I like the fact that I am stubborn and I don’t intend to change it.

FALSE
For example, if someone calls you stupid but you know you’re not stupid – how can you get offended by that? Let’s try with an easier example. If you have brown eyes and someone comes up to you and says ”you have really ugly blue eyes”, would you get offended by that? Or would you laugh it off and think that that’s pure nonsense?

But in order for this to work, you have to know yourself. You have to know your good and your bad sides so that no one can use it against you. Once that’s clear, dealing with negative comments is so easy.

3. What other people think of you has nothing to do with you.

What someone else thinks of you is based on their personal experiences in life. On expectations that have been put upon them by other people, on their own background, etc. Let’s imagine a guy named Hank. Some people like Hank, some don’t, some hate him. But Hank is one person. The reason why people have different opinions on Hank is that they are different people with different characters, different ideas on how Hank should act like, different expectations of Hank, etc. And those opinions have nothing to do with Hank.

Hank is going to his job every day, minding his own business, and other people have a variety of opinions about him that are based purely on their life. On their beliefs of how Hank should behave, look, etc.
Ok, enough about Hank. I hope what I was trying to convey with this example is now clear.

I was reminded of this while reading Jen Sincero’s book ”You are a Badass: How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life” – highly recommend.

So to conclude, be yourself. Always be unapologetically yourself. Some might like you, someone might hate your presence, and that’s absolutely fine.
As long as you like yourself, as long as you are constantly growing and improving as a person, you got it right. Remember that we are all on our own path and don’t let someone else’s opinion change your direction.

There will always be some negative comments in your way. The sooner you put your own opinion as a priority, the sooner you’ll find that it’s okay if someone thinks negatively of you and you’re not going to give it value anymore. If someone is spreading negativity, it’s their own way of dealing with themselves. No matter what they say about you, the weight they have on their shoulders is something they don’t know how to get rid of. They are spreading negativity around themselves because it’s the only way they can forget about that weight.

At the end of the day, it’s all about you. When dealing with negative comments, it’s all about you being confident in who you. And feeling good in your own skin.
Let go of the negative to create space for the positive. Be the best version of yourself, the world needs you just as you are.

Have an amazing day,

I.

creating yourself personal growth