How to be alone and enjoy it?
We find ourselves constantly looking for a company, for some familiar face so that we don’t feel alone. But what’s so bad about being alone? Do we not know how amazing we are and therefore we try to find other people who would make us feel good.
Today, I’m sharing with you my advice on how to be alone and enjoy it. You might want to stick around, since this lesson you’ll carry your whole life. Because the relationship you have with yourself is the one that will last your whole life.
“Life is too short to waste any amount of time wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.”
―
1. Get to know yourself.
If you want to learn how to be alone and enjoy it, you have to get to know yourself first. It’s the same process you had at the beginning of every relationship; you have to get to know the person first.
So what’s your story? What do you like about yourself? What are your small victories and the biggest successes? And what are the mistakes that have taught you the most valuable lessons?
Be honest with yourself and journal what comes to mind. What are you good at? What makes you unique? After all these answers you’ll realize that you’re actually not so bad.
You can also learn about yourself through some new experiences and new conversations. Don’t be afraid to get outside of your comfort zone for this one. You’re not going to learn about yourself in your familiar bedroom. When you put yourself out there and experience new situations, you’ll learn what drives you, what you’re afraid of, and what truly matters to you.
Read next:
What to Do When You Can’t Find Yourself?
50 Self-Discovery Journal Prompts to Up-Level Your Life
2. Take yourself out on a date.
Dress up like you’re going out on a date with the hottest person you know and get a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee place. Or go to the movies by yourself. Or take a one-day solo trip to some city near you and take pictures of everything.
You can even stay at home, make the most delicious dinner, again, like you’re having dinner with the hottest person you know, have a glass of red, and celebrate how amazing you are.
Don’t wait for other people to make you feel special and loved – start with yourself.
For some extra inspiration, here is the interview I had with Marisa Vogiatzi on The La Ivana Podcast where she shared all about how solo travel helped her build her confidence and self-esteem. Pretty amazing, ha?
Want some ideas for what to do on your own? Read next:
20+ Awesome Things to Do When You’re Single
SAVE FOR LATER 🙂
3. Challenge yourself.
Take the time you have for yourself to try out something you always wanted but no one wanted to join you. Yoga class? Gym? Language class? You know what it is.
Realize that you can do it by yourself and do it. Don’t be the one holding yourself back. Also, you can start researching things that interest you, no one is going to judge you.
In my case, at one point in January years ago, I had a lot of time for myself, so I started this blog. Not a bad idea, right? A year after I started it, it became my full-time job. If you’re interested in how I became a full-time blogger in one year, I wrote all about it in this post.
You can also start a new habit. Maybe you want to start going to the beach first thing in the morning or make food inspired by Italian cuisine.
Think of something you’ve always wanted to accomplish and go for it.
Read next:
3 Toxic Mindsets that Sabotage Your Success
How to Push Yourself Outside of Your Comfort Zone Even When You’re Terrified
FREE DOWNLOAD: 111 Empowering Affirmations for Confidence and Motivation
4. Love and respect yourself no matter what.
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
―
When was the last time you said to yourself ”I love you. You’re doing amazing!” We don’t do that very often. We don’t show love and respect to ourselves as much as we deserve.
We’re quick to judge our bodies, shame ourselves for what we’ve done years ago, and feel guilty for our own emotions.
Truth is, when we love ourselves, we love others as well. We are not judging other people. We are aware that we’re all human beings trying to live our best lives. Trying to be happy.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Recognize what you’ve accomplished in your life. Be proud of yourself. Love yourself and be open to receiving love from others. Validate your emotions instead of trying to run away from them.
At the end of the day, you’ll always have yourself. Be there for yourself like you would be for your best friend. Always make yourself a priority. Nourish your body with quality food. Nourish your mind and soul with positive thoughts and be grateful for who you are. Because you are incredible and worthy of love and happiness.
JOURNALING BUNDLE
If you need more support with feeling empowered and creating the best version of yourself, check out my journaling bundle with journaling workshops for creating the next level you and building confidence. It’s the perfect way to continue your self-development journey after reading this post.
>> get the Journaling Bundle here (workshops and eBook included)
Until the next time,
Ivana
Aarthi says
Okay!! I was so drowned and I was taken to point where I felt like I’m totally left alone and I could barely figure out how my life was. I’m not fan of blogs that post articles, but seriously this is eye opening. When I read the line “love, love , love yourself”… I cried!.. that’s what I didn’t for so many years!.. thank you!… Thank you So much for this eye opening article!…
Regina says
We recently moved a few months back & we are not near anyone in our family which is alot different from before. My hubby works away alot and it’s just me and the kids alot so I try to exercise, do things I love to do that will keep my mind busy while my kids do school (they are homeschooled) and after school we do things together. I love to read, write on my blog, organize, crochet, or just get outside and work in my flower beds. Once you get comfortable doing you, being alone isn’t that big of a deal. Thanks for a great post.
Gieralyn Sangrador says
I agree and love everything you’ve said. I guess It’s time to be alone again and it’s not bad coz 4 sure I’m gonna be happier again.. thank you so much 4 this advise..❤
Brenda Barton says
What an eye-opener! I have really been struggling with being alone since my divorce.
I’m not afraid to be alone, but I do find myself sensing the Universe trying to teach me to love and accept myself and not rely too hard on other people for validation! I needed to read this. What a “light bulb moment” for me! Thank you so much.
Ivana says
I’m so glad it helped, Brenda 🙂
Angela G says
Thank you Ivanka, I liked what you’ve written. Three years ago I found myself alone in Spain when my husband of 43 years died. We married aged 21 and I had never been alone as an adult before. So as time went on I forced myself to go out for walks, for meals, learn to paint, learn the language better etc. I’ll not deny that those line meals were difficult, and sometimes still are, but there are some wonderfully empathetic Spaniards in my village who understand, and will have short conversations with me when alone in a restaurant. I’m building new friendships as many old ones didn’t last the process. I can truly say I’m more content, and comfortable with my own company than ever before. I can please myself about all things and do or not do as suits me.
I love your idea of the date night, and dressing up! Normally I go in just anything, and no makeup but that’s going to change from now on!
I’m a great believer in challenging oneself too, and try to do so whenever possible. Combatting my fears and trying to be an overcomer! I started a small social group for other women alone, and called it “alone but not lonely!” Then changed it to “shoulders” (for support!)
Thank you for your blog. Lots of good advice. Bless you mucho. Angela