What does finding yourself even mean? As I was scrolling through Pinterest a few moments ago, I came across an article called ”How to find yourself?” and just reading that title was enough for me to open a WordPress document and start sharing with you my opinion on finding yourself.
First of all, what are you hoping to find? Probably a person who has certain ambitions in life and is willing to take action towards achieving them. That person is not somewhere out there. That person is not going to pop up in your mind and start acting enthusiastic saying ”Yes! I’m here! Let’s live now!”
No. You create that person. At this moment you have the complete power to create the person you want to become.
A lot of times when people see someone often changing their style/appearance or changing their plans in life they tend to say ”Oh, they just didn’t find themselves yet.” The truth is – you’ll never find yourself. Your whole life is a process of discovering more about yourself and creating yourself. As long as you’re breathing, there won’t be a finished version of yourself you need to find.
You are working on yourself every day. You create yourself with your habits, your mindset, your interests. You’re creating your story every day and each day you have a chance to start a new chapter. You can’t erase what has already happened, but you can change the way you think about the past.
You can let go of the idea that you are lost or you don’t know what to do in life just by accepting how you feel.
Emotions come like waves. I remember when I had no idea what to do in life and tried to fight that feeling by doing what was expected of me (for you that can be having your 9-to-5 job everyone has or jumping into a relationship you’re actually not ready for or going to college just to please your parents).
Feeling unmotivated comes and goes. You just have to accept it as it is. You are not your emotions.
Going into the process of finding yourself and feeling that you’re failing miserably is pointless. It leads you nowhere. Accepting your life as your own and realizing that you can change it at any given moment will actually help you in creating the life you desire.
So, instead of finding yourself, let’s focus on how you can create the best version of yourself.
1. change your habits
”It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, it’s what we do consistently.” – Tony Robbins
Do you want to be a morning person? Get up early every day. Want to be a non-smoker? Stop smoking. It’s really not as complicated as you’re used to believe. You can be whoever you want to be. It’s easy to be who you already are because implementing new habits is difficult in the beginning.
Finding yourself means challenging yourself. Realize that you’re the only person standing in your way and let go of the old you.
Get rid of the habits that are not improving your life. If not now – when? Accept your old habits, thank them, even, if they made your life more enjoyable at some point (for instance, a cigarette with coffee makes coffee taste so much better, according to people who smoke) and say goodbye to them if you know that breaking them is going to improve your life in many different ways.
Make room for better habits. Make room for a better life. One of the more enjoyable habits I’ve developed is listening to podcasts while I’m doing some everyday tasks or driving on the bus. It makes life more enjoyable.
If you’re resonating with the content on my blog, check out my podcast called The La Ivana Podcast – I promise you that it will make you feel more motivated and empowered.
Want to develop better habits? Read next:
8 Amazing Habits that Changed My Life
60 Motivational Habits of Successful People
5 Empowering Habits to Build Your Confidence and Self-Esteem
2. deal with limiting beliefs that stop you from finding yourself
”I’m scared to travel alone, what if something happens? I won’t start a blog, what if no one reads it? I won’t start a blog, what if someone I know reads it (worst case scenario)? Last but not least, I can’t join a gym, what if someone laughs at me?” Yes, God forbid you do all those things, feel better about yourself for going after the life you want, and start using your full potential.
Think about how your life would change if you would reframe those questions into something like – what if you start traveling alone and it helps you build confidence and you learn more about yourself in the process?
What if you start a blog and somehow make it your full-time job? Imagine having a job you actually enjoy. I know, crazy.
What if you join a gym, gain strength and become healthier?
A lot of times when we want to do something, way before being judged by other people, we are being judged by ourselves. There is always going to be a part of our brain that is going to try and stop us. And you should accept that part. Thank that part for worrying about you and trying to keep you safe, but then stand up for yourself and ask yourself is it worth it.
Is it worth it to listen to that voice that is afraid of everything and everyone and let it stop you from creating your best life? And then be excited about what’s to come when you step out of your comfort zone and go after the life you want.
FREE DOWNLOAD:
111 Powerful Affirmations for Building Confidence and Changing Your Life
70+ Journal Prompts to Create a Life You Love
PIN FOR LATER 🙂
3. be intentional about who you surround yourself with
There are a few things I’d like to mention when it comes to other people and finding yourself.
First, surround yourself with the people who make you feel good. There’s no point in keeping people in your life who are not on the same frequency as you. Yes, it may be hard at first but sometimes we just outgrow some people, and that’s okay. If you want to go further in life, get rid of everything/everyone pulling you back or wanting you to stay in the same place because it’s convenient for them. Always make yourself a priority.
Furthermore, remember that you have complete control over your reactions. When someone says something negative or isn’t supportive of your passions in life, accept it. And then move on with your day. Fighting and worrying about other people’s opinions is only weighing you down. Therefore, no matter the situation you find yourself in – don’t let it ruin your day.
Of course, you’re human and you’re meant to experience the full spectrum of emotions. But be mindful of the percentage of your time that you spend feeling frustrated or bitter when you’re around certain people. Work on surrounding yourself with empowering people – online and in real life.
And, if there are people that always complain or engage in gossip, do what you can to lower the percentage of time you spend engaged in conversations with them. Focus on yourself and spend as much time as you can with people you love.
Read next:
20 Pieces of Life Advice for Women in Their 20s // Advice for 20-Year-Olds
How To Embody the Best Version of Yourself Every Day + Journal Prompts
4. the life-long journey of finding yourself
You can develop new habits, get rid of your limiting beliefs, stop hanging out with people that drain your energy, unfollow everyone whose posts don’t bring you any value, but at the end of the day – it’s all about you. Are you willing to go from point A – where you are currently, to point B – where you want to be? Are you ready and willing to make yourself a priority? I know, it takes courage.
After all, we’ve been taught how putting ourselves first is selfish and egocentric. But I think it would be a waste of yourself as an individual to not put yourself first.
I don’t like the question ”What would you do if this were your last day?” I always thought, well, if this would be my last day then there’s nothing much I could do in 24 hours… I’d probably eat pizza and watch Netflix.
What I want you to ask yourself is – what would you do if this were your last life? How would you spend it?
The moment we realize something is ”the last one”, whether it is your last day in a foreign city, the last episode of a new TV show you’re binging, the last page of a book, the last song on a new album you were listening for the first time – we appreciate it so much more.
A few years ago, when I was in Prague for a week, on the last day I was thinking of a few things I could have done differently. I was thinking about how I haven’t enjoyed that week as much as I could have. I was wondering why I didn’t go out at night just to drink some mulled wine at the overcrowded Christmas fair in the center of Prague which was only 2 minutes walking distance from a hostel I was staying at.
There was also some French guy (blonde version of Daniel Radcliffe, it will stay in my brain forever…) that came up to me and asked if I wanted to get a cup of coffee with him and I said no because I spent that whole day in Kutná Hora and I was really looking forward to just chill in my bed at the end of the day. Or at least that’s what I thought was the reason. Now I think it was because it was so hard for me to leave my comfort zone to enjoy something new and meet new people.
But that’s exactly what discovering and finding yourself is. If there even is anything to find, you’re going to find it through experiencing new things and having conversations with people. You’re not going to find yourself or anything new in your room, in the same job, in the same city, with the same people, having the same conversations, doing the same things every day. Bring newness into your life, break that boring routine, put yourself out there, and see what you’ll find.
So there you have it… Don’t look back on your life and think about how many opportunities and new experiences you could have had if only you were willing to take action towards something and challenge yourself. Don’t limit yourself. Get out of the victim mode, get out of your comfort zone, take control over your life and start living it.
JOURNALING BUNDLE
If you need more support with finding yourself and creating the best version of yourself, check out my journaling bundle with journaling workshops for creating the next level you and building confidence. It’s the perfect way to continue your self-development journey after reading this post.
>> get the Journaling Bundle here (workshops and eBook included)
Until the next time,
Ivana
PIN FOR LATER 🙂
creating yourself finding yourself limiting beliefs personal growth
Researching on how to make the next half of the year great and this post really helped me.
Thank you so much it’s such a wonderful article that many many of us resonate with and not knowing how and where to start. This is going to be a new beginning, especially the self ego you talked about, that’s going to change a lot of people’s perception about themselves which they would not have even thought about.
Thank you for such good advice,you enlightened me!!
Thank you so very much for this post! You’ve read my mind. I really needed to hear this. I’m really at that point in my life. My children are adults and now have their own families and I just took myself out of a bad relationship. I’ve always put everyone else first. Now it’s time to put myself first! I actually should have done this year’s ago. I thank God for blessing me with your motivational words! 🥰
Wow , I’m going through such a hard time mentally, and found this article on Pinterest amazing, iv copied loads into my notes to refer back . I will also be sharing it to the people I care about . Thank you 😊